- By Rachina
Ahuja and Nishant Boorla (commentary in blue). Two platonic friends who agree
to disagree. Always.
Summer is an
exciting time for movie lovers. A lot of big ones release during these months.
Personally, I don’t care for action flicks and I live with a cherished hope
that rom-coms will someday get smarter and I won’t be looked-down upon for
watching them. Summer is usually a good time for the romance genre because
people have a lot of time on their hands and I assume the target audience is
couples (where women drag men along) and single women (the depressing truth).
This summer however, was pretty bad for the genre. Why, you ask? I’d LOVE to
elaborate:
No Strings
Attached, even though it wasn’t technically released in summer, was like a
harbinger of what was to come. One of the most unintelligent, unimaginative
movies I’ve seen in a while. And this coming from a person who likes
‘chick-flicks’! The only buzz surrounding that movie was something on the lines
of “Ooooh sex between friends who aren’t dating!” And it left me feeling greasy
thanks to the load of cheese they freely heaped on such a ‘daring’
scenario.
Now
these movies hardly ever have a twist in the tale. Even when the girl gets
pregnant you know they’re working towards a mushy happy ending. Happily Ever After.
Basic
principles of a rom-com-
1.Boy+Girl -
They’re people whom you can usually identify with. The film-makers are supposed
to make the characters likable. You should want them to live happily ever
after. The screenwriter (I consider it sacrilege to even call them
that. If you’re a screenwriter who writes only rom-coms, you’re the
oompa-loompa of the screenwriting world). Ok, I have to start over. Writing
screenplays for rom-coms is as sophisticated as writing Zodiac columns. Just
pick random points everyone can relate to and build a character around those.
2.Conflict -
There’s something keeping them apart, usually their own issues. IMPORTANT: This
has to be believable! No one likes a heroine who is stupid or a hero who’s just
being an A-hole.
3.The big resolution- Even though we know
how it’s going to end, brownie points for film-makers who surprise us. We’re
just saying be a little different. The airport/wedding scene has been done to
death.
Even more
points if you’re the guy who made 500 days of summer which was enjoyable even
though it didn’t necessarily have a happy ending (which actually is a matter of
opinion, because I didn’t think the ending was sad at all). Brickbats
and cow dung for the guy who made P.S I Love You for writing a story so
manipulative, trying to wring tears out of the viewer with every new scene. And
failing miserably.
4.The
process- This is why we go watch movies that have no suspense. We want to see
HOW it all unfurls. We want to be told a story without being stressed out that
it’s all going to end badly. Everyone loves a story, right? Most importantly,
it should ring true. We shouldn’t be walking out of the theaters grumbling
about the idiocy of the characters and about how ridiculous the premise was.
There. Now
you have it. Now let’s take a look-see at what came out this summer eh? I am
STRICTLY talking about the romance or the romantic comedy genre. I’ll leave it
to Nishant
to bash the genre (as he will) and talk about other movies. Not to take off on
a tangent, but there’s an interesting article Meg Cabot (really, people, the
author of The Princess Diaries and many more fun books) wrote on why men don’t
watch rom-coms but more on that later.
Right then.
Movies.
Something
Borrowed-
*ing:
Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield, John Krasinski
Okay, so I
read the book and that’s why I needed to watch the movie. It’s a thing. I’m
sure it happens to everyone, right? Not really, no! Not
with every book anyway. I wouldn’t watch a Brer Rabbit movie if it ever comes
out. Unless it has a graphic novel feel to it and is directed by Zack Snyder.
Anyway, it
was a nice movie, one that I’d watch when I don’t feel like taxing my brains.
It suffered from the usual flaws though, for example: Rachel is supposed to be
plain, who in their right mind would call Ginnifer Goodwin that? But it’s a
movie so I forgive them. Oh right, the premise is slightly different from the
usual, except not really. Made of Honor comes to mind as well as 27 Dresses
(although it plays out differently in that) and a dozen others that involve
weddings. Protagonist is in love with someone who is getting married (wow…radical!). That someone is getting
married to her best friend who has overshadowed her all her life. How she
gathers up the courage to take what she wants, for a change, forms the rest of
the movie (Yawn). I
thought the guy was a HUGE idiot (They’ve sucked Rachina in to the rabbit
hole and now she has formed opinions of the characters). Anyone could see Rachel
wanted to go out with him but he asked her friend, Darcy, out instead, even
though HE LIKED Rachel! (What a plot! Puts Fight Club to shame huh?) Gaaaaah. Not the
shiniest fork in the drawer, if you ask me. The resolution was what you would
expect. Nothing big or surprising about it. Moving on.
Bridesmaids
*ing:
Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, John Hamm, and a bunch of other people
This movie
was pretty great. I walked in not knowing what to expect (a movie
with a strong SNL influence); I mean it’s a bunch of 30 somethings and their love
lives or lack thereof, you’d think it would be depressing. Nope! I laughed myself into stitches. The
best part? These are real women! They’re NOT glamorous, NOT skinny and NOT
perfectly put together all the time. They get drunk and create havoc on
airplanes, they say stupid things, they eat bad food and um “get sick” in
public and also apparently steal puppies. The message that you get if you think
about the movie after laughing yourself sick is - ‘All that glitters is not
gold.’ Corny as it sounds. It’s all very lightly delivered, just in the way you
should take life: with a large dose of humor. (Look who’s getting
preachy!)
Crazy
Stupid Love
*ing:
Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling
When I walked
in to the theater, I was a bit alarmed because I barely saw anyone near my age
sitting in there. I braced myself for a preachy, oldies romance, but soon I
began to enjoy myself in earnest. Who can resist Steve Carell? He’s great as
usual with his deadpanning. Julianne Moore was good too. Marisa Tomei was very
entertaining, even in her tiny role. The scene-stealer for me was, of course,
Ryan Gosling (He looks like a cross between cricketer Praveen Kumar and
Hockey stud Dhanraj Pillay, only fairer!).
The climax of
the movie reminded me a bit of a silly Bollywood movie: there are a bunch of
misunderstandings and a scene ensues where all parties involved are in the same
place and there is confusion galore. We do enjoy those, though, so no
complaints! Also, Emma Stone was, as usual, wonderful but old Kevin Bacon was
kinda weird and unnecessary (I still think of him as Rex from Footloose) (And I
think of him as Capt. Jack Ross from A Few Good Men.)
Friends
with Benefits
*ing:
Justin Timberlake, Mila Kunis
Sigh. Just when you think No Strings
Attached has properly ruined the premise, another one comes along. Awful acting
helmed by the same guy that directed Easy A, which is why I thought this might
not be so bad.It wasn’t bad, it was much better than No Strings Attached. It
was self-deprecating and yet trying to be sweet at the same time.
If sweet is
what you can call it. Best part? Very low amounts of cheese. That’s all we
want, guys. That wasn’t so hard, was it? (For the record, this
movie made me want to kill myself. This sucked just as much as No Strings
Attached. At least they had a better lead pair for No Strings Attached. They
got Natalie Portman while these guys got Mila Kunis AKA Poor man’s Black Swan!)
One day
*ing: Anne
Hathaway, Jim Sturgess
YUCK.
They put us
through hours of Jim Sturgess’ awful, irritating character for this! Seriously,
he smirks his way through the ENTIRE movie. I liked him in 21 but halfway
through this, I wanted to punch his face. The movie shows us one day (July
15th, if you care) in the life of these two people for 20 years of their lives.
The fact that the story mostly flows even though it’s just one day at a time
tells us what? THEIR LIVES ARE NOT THAT INTERESTING. I don’t know about others,
but I sat through all the crud: through Emma dating some guy she doesn’t like,
through Dexter being a jackass and doing nothing but womanizing and smoking up,
through their friendship which was basically her whining to him about her life
and him DDing her and them talking about what they could be and should be but
never doing anything about it, sat through all of it hoping that things would
turn out to be okay and I can leave the theater with a sigh of relief. No such
luck, it just got worse. Ugh, just stay away from this crap. (I don’t
think I need to add anything here. We at LTGTR do all we can to avoid using
foul language and so I won’t comment.)
Sunk without
a trace:
Disney’s Prom
Monte Carlo
Hits?
Blue Valentine
Water for
elephants
A note on
Meg’s article-
Here are a
couple of quotes that pretty much say it all-
“Straight
guys won’t go see a “romantic comedy” (or any movie featuring a female main
character, unless it’s Megan Fox) unless they’ve been dragged to it by their
significant other (or their mom)(BTW Meg Cabot – If a guy watches
rom-coms with his mom, he’s not straight. No don’t give the ”he’s sweet and
compassionate” crap. He’s not. He’s GAY!)
This is why,
for every one Bridesmaids, we have four Die Hards, four Terminators, four
Pirates of the Caribbean, three Transformers, and two Hangovers. I have seen
all seventeen of these films (plus Bridesmaids), so I know the real reason they
were so successful isn’t because men don’t enjoy a good romantic story (Men enjoy
good love stories as much as women. As long as the emotions are real. The story
doesn’t have to be realistic, just the emotions and scenario. Which is why Wall
E worked. And that is also why “He’s Just Not That In To You” bombed! Most
women who watch rom-coms almost exclusively still haven’t grown up, or so it
seems.They crave fairy tale romances with plastic emotions all centered around
the one woman no guy wants to marry. No premise, no futuristic setting, the
same crap over and over again with different actresses.) Strip away the roofies,
explosions, and talking robots and at the heart of each of the above franchises
is a hero who will do anything to protect (or get home to) the woman he loves.
Perhaps it’s
simply that because these more expensively made, man-centric, special-effects
heavy films (I’m counting Mike Tyson as a special effect) tend to be so widely
promoted, while romantic comedies are released in so many fewer cities, on less
screens, with the only pre-release buzz centering around whatever real-life
romantic travails their stars are currently enduring, that makes the “guys
won’t see a romantic comedy” thing a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.”(No Excuses
now. Those films are promoted so much and are given such huge marketing budgets
because the studios know they’ll make all that money back. Not the case with
rom-coms. Too tiny a target audience. Single moms, single girls, end of story.
Whereas as with action flicks you attract all men without exception. Yes even
the gay ones who come in droves to gawk at Chris Helmsworth’s body in Thor. You
also attract women in relationships whose boyfriends drag them along. Since
these films interest men, most single women will watch them too so they can
talk about what guys want to talk about. And here’s the best part – Almost all
these films are rated PG-13. Studios make sure it’s a PG-13 and not an R. This
means lots and lots of kids at the movies all dying to watch your movie first.
This also means lots and lots of parents accompanying their kids to watch
Transformers movies. Can’t beat that killer combo.)
”This isn’t
to say movies with exploding talking robots, roofies, or pirates shouldn’t be
made. I would never say that, because I’m
a fan of those films as well. I just
think we need to be honest and admit that all of these stories, like all of us,
have something in common: We all yearn to watch others fall in love, as we
have; struggle to find themselves, as we have; and of course be publicly
humiliated by an adversary, and tortured by a domineering matriarchal figure,
as we have.” (Class Dismissed!)
Rachina Ahuja
Writing about myself is an annoying task because I’m never the same. I like change, I’m used to it, but when I go to my favorite restaurant, I’ll always order the same thing. Why take a risk? My ideal occupation would be Captain of a pirate ship with a pet orangutan but I’ll settle for making animated movies.
The Flintstones
Top Cat
Yogi Bear
The Addams Family
Magilla Gorilla, Huckleberry hound,
Atom Ant, Secret Squirrel
