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Ischool

By Rachina Ahuja
Oh school days! How many of us would want to go back in time to be in school again? How many of you are raising your hands like good little children at that question? We all have a love-hate relationship with school but now that we’re older, it’s mostly love. It’s a love borne of a longing for simpler days when things were black and white, people were good and bad, heartache was unknown, and worries extended only to completing homework at the worst. 

In honor of those days, lets take a trip down memory lane and revisit our complicated relationship with that infamous institution: School.


 
Ten things we love to hate about school-
1.      The teacher’s deplorable english. When he is telling the bwoys to istand up and explain him what is on the blackboard, we roll our eyes but when are caught snickering and are angrily enquired of what we’re loafing at, we obediently ‘shet’ up.
2.      The school food. It’s too spicy and too oily but when we leave school and come back for a visit, that’s the first thing we go for, raving about how good it is and how many memories it brings back.
3.      The system which is ‘unfair’ because they make us study so much, there is so less integrity involved with exams, all we do is ‘buttify’ and ‘vomit’ on the paper. We all unanimously agree that marks don’t really mean anything. No one complains though, when we get ‘important questions’ for the exam and nearly everyone’s strategy is to ‘fill pages up re with something’.
4.      The ranks and grading system. People who care about that kind of thing are lame, especially the ones who always get good marks. Wait, what? I got the highest marks in Math?! Sweet! Uh, no big deal.
5.      Sports day practice. I know I tried everything to get out of ‘Marchpast’, but getting kicked out wasn’t cool! Outwitting the prefects was the goal and the feeling of smug satisfaction as well as not having to spend the day marching in the hot sun the reward.
6.      The house system. Curiously named houses as well as not enough spaces in the red and blue houses formed the ultimate problem. Because who wants to be in the yellow house, anyway? That’s like Hufflepuff! Ew.
7.      SUPW- What the hell was this anyway? Socially useful and productive work, I know that, but seriously, what WAS it? We’re just being graded on some mysterious basis here. But hey, free period!
8.      Physical Education- No, don’t make us run in the hot sun and play games we don’t want to in weird, colorful uniforms! What? IIt’s either that or another hour of Math? I’ll go change.
9.      The opposite sex. Who wasn’t the target of a dozen tweens chanting the name of some hapless girl/boy you supposedly ‘love’? The gossip on the possible/existing connections between any combination of two people in class provided 94% of the spice in school life. In a girls’ school, much worse: the dance teacher or the principal’s son. If neither was attractive, then one must rely on girls with brothers/cousins.
10.  Going to school! But one day of faking sick and you start chafing, wondering what your friends are up to. By the end of the day, you’re bored out of your mind, and not very comforted upon receiving the intelligence that “Sir taught about trigonometry today.”

Bwoys and gerlls, think of ischool today and remember how you had to kneel down that one time for talking too much in class and that other time you bunked and went to watch that Shah Rukh Khan movie and that eggjam you flunked but then went to ma’am to ask for marks and then passed....

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Rachina Ahuja
Writing about myself is an annoying task because I’m never the same. I like change, I’m used to it, but when I go to my favorite restaurant, I’ll always order the same thing. Why take a risk? My ideal occupation would be Captain of a pirate ship with a pet orangutan but I’ll settle for making animated movies.


 

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