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How to be a drama queen

(Not to be confused with the ubiquitous attention-seeker)

By Rachina Ahuja

1.  Be an attention-seeker(What? Every self-respecting drama queen has to be an attention-seeker to start with.) It’s easy, just make every conversation/situation about yourself. For example:
            A: Ouch, I just accidentally cut my finger off!
            DQ- Oh no! I can’t stand blood! *faints*

2.  If there is no occasion to talk about yourself, talk about your possessions or your boyfriend, or your dog, or your fingernails! Be creative!

3.  Remember, you are always the victim, the persecuted and the unfortunate.

4.  Also, remember, nobody in the world understands you. When in doubt use “You won’t/don’t/can’t understand!” freely.

5. Cry. Cry loud and long and if no one hears you, tell them about it! Follow that up with long explanation of how you’ve been wronged(see 3) and if that fails, make a dramatic exit (see 4).

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Rachina Ahuja
Writing about myself is an annoying task because I’m never the same. I like change, I’m used to it, but when I go to my favorite restaurant, I’ll always order the same thing. Why take a risk? My ideal occupation would be Captain of a pirate ship with a pet orangutan but I’ll settle for making animated movies.


 

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