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Inter Webitis

Facebook Addiction
 There’s a new disease in town. It’s been around for a while, slowly sneaking up on us.
Starting out a mere addiction, (yes, we said MERE addiction), it’s a full-fledged fever, it rules our minds, except for those lucky enough to have escaped (read-those with lives).
We call it Interwebitis! No, we don’t. But it sounds more dramatic if it has a name. This deadly disease will take over your life if you are not careful. It starts out with trying to find information on anything in the world, read, watch, listen to anything-- oh the power! The exhilaration! Slowly, your nerves become one with the threads of the network, seamlessly intertwined with them, when you are online, you feel connected to the world, and life is beautiful. When you’re not, you’re alone, the world is cold, and nothing matters anymore.

A special mention for Facebook here, for nothing since that fateful February in 2004 has revolutionized the world we live in as  monumentally as this networking giant that swallowed us whole, stole our souls and locked them up in tiles of blue and white, while we  were busy chatting and poking and tossing sheep at each other.
internet addictionAddiction is a grand word with many implications. The simplest one is of excessive love. And what’s not to love about a place where the world is one big happy expressive family, where social status and clique walls dissolve over games of Scrabulous and local gossip is a page away?
Facebook attempts to transfer our lives online-and that’s where the problem begins.
Warning flags however pop up as often as notifications nowadays. We discover amidst our brethren, many a closet Facebook lover, as they confess to having multiple tabs of their favourite website open all day at work, while on the bed and hold your collective breaths-at the dinner table!
The lure of complete social connectivity appears to be one that users would seemingly give their right hand for-and mark me you will (You might get Carpal’s or something, all that clicking, something’s gotta give!!!) it starts to look very real when you realize that Facebook addiction disorder or F.A.D is a term that’s casually thrown around cyberspace, punch line of jokes aplenty, beating Tiger Woods or even The Boy Who Lived.
We know that Facebook events and communities have united and rekindled many interests, revived lost friendships and helped popularize social outreach programs. Maybe the only way to live it online is to live it large, or maybe not. It’s down to your choice really.
Coming back to the pressing concerns of Interwebitis as a whole, while this disease is not contagious at all, it is very possible to spontaneously catch it.
Do you have it? Here is the list of symptoms -
1. You cannot go 20 min without checking your email. That sweet ting of the ‘You Got Mail’ sound makes you jump up to go and check.
2. Facebook comprises of pretty much your entire social life. You spend hours on crappy Facebook chat even though it is crappy. Redundant, we know, but Facebook chat really is crappy. Even more dangerous, you’re already active on Google+.
3. You don’t read books anymore, you read ‘fan fiction’ on the internet. You’ve almost forgotten what the original story was like.
4. You maintain a blog to chronicle your witticisms, which consist mostly of commentary on things you found on the...yep, internet.
5. You listen to music only on Pandora or YouTube or another one of those music-streaming websites. You’re also familiar with the latest .viral videos. You probably heard of Rebecca Black in the first week she got infamous.
6. You only watch movies downloaded via torrents or on some extremely sketchy website on the internet.
7. Your parents complain that you don’t go out enough and you just can’t understand why.
8. If you have any time left over after going through your emails, Facebook, videos and listening to some music, you play some competitive/violent/both game over the internet with some strangers from around the world while cussing loudly in excitement.
9. If you’re a boy, we know what else you do and we’re frowning at you.
10. If the internet connection is down, you feel like curling up into a ball in the corner of your room and rocking back and forth while babbling some incoherent nonsense to keep yourself distracted and calm so you don’t break something.
Did any of this sound familiar? If it did, be careful, you may be infected.

This is only a short list. There are more horrors such as ‘Second Life’ out there.

It’s too late for us, but save yourselves! Go outdoors more, challenge yourself to a day without Internet. The first step is admitting you have a problem. And that Facebook chat is crappy. A wise and powerful man in tights once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” What he really meant was, “Get off your ass and go outside and do something!”

This public service message brought to you by Two Concerned Citizens.

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Rachina Ahuja
Writing about myself is an annoying task because I’m never the same. I like change, I’m used to it, but when I go to my favorite restaurant, I’ll always order the same thing. Why take a risk? My ideal occupation would be Captain of a pirate ship with a pet orangutan but I’ll settle for making animated movies.


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