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The Men Who Stare At Walls!

With the spate of networking and so-see-all media, the Netizens are right in the centre of a
Art by Umesh R
piñata of information overdose. Every other day we begin our days, lazily reaching to the facebook and twitter tabs and dilate our sleep deprived pupils to the tiny red balloons popping as notifications or gazing in amazement at the number of re-tweets and tweetbacks. Spam, a condensation of Spiced Ham has radically transformed its implications in the virtual world and each day I am amazed at how the vicarious appetite is satisfied by scores and dozens of heavily morphed images, plethora of links and Photoshop that would have made painter’s droop down ! The one image that created a lot of buzz these few days was an image of a Gandhi-esque person shaking a leg with a Lady; No doubt it became an instant hit with the users and rampant wordplay, sarcasm and remarks followed with shares reaching astronomical proportions! I, having seen life for over 2 and a quarter decade, am amazed at the sudden burst of rods and cones outburst that the people seem to possess. Echoing the words of Forrest Gump, “Mama said Life is a box of never know what you are going to get...”, I feel that people no longer believe in luck, happening and the vicissitudes of fate. What has caught attention, release it, pump it out - seems to be the order of the day. 

Now moving on to the literati, an expectation of “At least they must make sense” seeps in..but to be squirted out violently a little later. A lot of Rants, XYZ Tips, Dude hain? Seem to defile the very basics of English and intend to defame and mock at the drop of a hat. Even the multitude of competitions in all the media require an essential component : the ‘LIKES’ and re-tweets. I wonder in what way does it promote or encourage customer acquisition, as a parallel I see it as a levy which was prevalent during a despotic ruler’s regime - Pay to make Hay! The freedom of speech is another tenet which our forefathers thought up but only led to killing the social equity by opening a can of worms - I won’t demean a speech, but shouldn’t you realise that the bayonet must be along with the proper fusillade. Making a hue and cry is passé, now 
the taking a cue and fry seems to be the perfect rhyming fit :-)

Among other rants and ramblings I feel this change has had only 2 beneficiaries
1) The quizzers - those who know everything about nothing (or at least feign)
2) The cunning linguists - the wordy wise class :-)

Just imagine our days of yore- the Siddharth Basu’s radio histrionics or the ‘Mixed bag’ rounds of BQC - quizzing was always for the elite and erudite, people read lots, talked lots and gained lots. The corruption came with the onset of KBC and boy! That corrupted quite a few. Suddenly parents bought a lot of quiz books, children knew more about really nothing. Tell me in what world is knowing the etymological origin of ”quintessential” going to help me if I don’t even know how to spell it! So there arose the so called ‘quiznuncs’- who have managed to veil ignorance under a plethora of useless braggarts and mindless information. The forums and groups of so-see-all networks seem to be the idyllic haven - lots of free plagiarism and fake google plus winning appreciation. Every odd quizzing club has developed its business wings, only an icarus would kill their so called grey cell overdose - Just look at how many are deprived of basic education and quizzers go around, reserving hotels and vain boasting in avenues. :-(

The other people are the wordy wise, the cunning linguists who live on wordplay and sir chasm, lampooning at every possible opening. I somehow feel that these are the people who will help make a ‘name’ and at some point of time and will be proclaimed as the ‘write’ guys left in the country. I somehow seem to back the ‘words worth’ than keep lingering the elephant with ‘master debater’ skills. Of late ‘Aunty-Climax’, ‘Henopause’, ‘Maalnourished’, The Big ‘Bhaang’ theory etc have flocked quite a media space. I am a devotee of this art and would love to get sarcastic at every opportunity. 

The Karnataka Ministers suffered from Osteopornosis- a degenerate disease” was a very popular tweet and brought about a cheer to many and even a tear to the concerned!

Life has always been the topsy turvy coaster ride - things come and go and the annals of history have blamed humans to adapt and survive. In lieu of this verbiage, this acerbic satire - I end with a question.....

If apes evolved into humans, why are there still apes - in the form that we see them?
The answer lies within :-)

Pragyananda Mishra
20 something-year old taciturn hobbledehoy; I try to win but a loss is always heartening. Presently bewildered and still not sure that 0% of everything is better than 100% of nothing.


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