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Reasons to stay single this Valentine's day

By Abhyudaya Shrivastava

Now that I am in a full-fledged relationship and the V-day is just round the corner, I think I miss being single on cupid's favourite date and this is not about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence, trust me. Here's why -

Reason 1: The immense hype 
"What are you gifting her this Valentine's?", "Hey! What plans for Valentine's?" The plannings and conspiracies begin a month ahead. It's sort of fun and challenging when you're trying to woo her but, not so much when it is something expected out of you, more than something that you want to do. Imagine her friends saying "Hawww! He didn't take you to Abcd place on V-day eve? Me and my other went there! And it was awesome! Omg omg omg! I loved it!!" and her going all mad with red raging fury over your inability to match some multi- millionaire business tycoon's son's histrionics!

Reason 2: The embarrassment

If you are not much into PDA, all those moments when you're in the public eye can be very unnerving. Right from your entry to an Archie's Gift Gallery to the flower shop, to the time you spend outside waiting for with a bunch of roses in your hands; you are targeted by giggly girls, frowning neighbours, conniving friends- all giving you those strange looks. It's like they just read your personal diary.

Reason 3: Western Culture!! Haye! Haye!

Now who wants to get his face smeared with black grease and made to sit on a donkey? Not me! We live in a country of Shiv Sena., Shri Ram Sene, Bajrang Dal et al who consider it their duty to get rid of us maggots from the society. How about we shift the V-day to 15th or 16th Feb and fool 'em fools!!? Eh? Eh?

Reason 4: The expectations

If love is a degree course, V-day, anniversaries, birthdays are like university exams. If you don't make her feel like a princess on the day, a lot of your future arguments will end with her saying "You didn't... blah blah blah... even on Valentine's day!" If you're in a no frills relationship, gear up for some frills! Valentine's day attaches frills to everyone's lives!

Reason 5: The Accelerator!

If you've been taking it slow and nice, and things have been good so far, and you've been going just the right speed; V-day shifts the gear to the topmost and hits top speed in your relationship car. Don't fret if she starts saying things like "When we get married...", "What names have you thought for our future kids?", "What names have you thought for our future grandkids?" and stuff like that. It's the phenomenon of V-day hitting the relationship accelerator. Applying brakes may result in fatal jerks and even an ugly crash! Enjoy!

Reason 6: The Romance Of Singlehood!

Valentine's Day means so much to the in-love couples, but it also means a lot to the singles ready to mingles. It's about hope, it's about the endless search for true love. Having a girlfriend puts an end to that great search and simultaneously to all the romance associated with that search. Congratulations, you can no longer go up to that lonesome female from across the hall, and be all nervous, and ask her for a dance. Instead, you get to buy cards, teddy bears, roses and other gooey things and carry them around town until you deliver them to a certain someone who is expecting them from you.

Reason 7: Money!

Crack that piggy bank open and waste that money because that's how cupid rolls!

Reason 8: For those of you who want to break-up!

Ok, it has not been going as you had dreamed and expected in your relationship. You want to break up and say good-bye but V-day with itself brings a three month curfew period during which, you can't even think of breaking up and here's why you have to put up with her for three more months -

One and a half month before V-day, she is all excited with her plans and is asking you for suggestions. Telling her that you don't want her around anymore is like stabbing a teddy bear.

On the V-day- Oh! Don't you dare think of doing that on the most special day of them all, you sick-o! Just survive the day somehow!

One and half month after V-day- You can't dump her right after V-day otherwise it'd feel like you've been pitying her all along. So the month of Feb is a no-no. And as you survive February, you realise that she isn't that bad and you should give your relationship another chance. It's only till the end of March that you re-realise why you wanted to break-up with her. Don't do it on April 1st though, she won't take you seriously at first, which will make it more brutal.

Love and Peace!

And yeah, happy Valentine's Day!! Let the good times roll!!


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