She was a liberal feminist, he was an aspiring Lawyer. She knew she hadn’t liked anyone so much in a long time, he knew he couldn’t afford to fall in love as he had dreams to fulfill, promises to keep and miles to go before he could sleep. The attraction between them was evident, but no one was ready to take the leap of faith. She would be ranting about him every day in college, hyperventilating, nervous, unable to decide what to do with herself. He on the other hand had never mentioned about her to anyone, at all. The last thing he wanted to do was come across as a frivolous chap who wasn’t focused enough to accomplish the goals he had set for himself.
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| Photo credit - Anoop Nagendra |
It was crazy how simple things were. But mutual denial always came in the way, making things unnecessarily complex. She thought he could never like her, she was too plain, too cheery and not to forget too emotional. He thought of her as an independent young woman who was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, hence effectively ruling out the requirement of his presence in her life. She on the other hand continued to cling on to the memories of the first and only time they had met. Her friends advised her to ‘control’ her feelings lest she get hurt. His friends grumbled about their own break ups because he was the only guy in the group who had never been in a relationship. May be, if they kept meeting once in a while things would take a turn for the better. Or, may be, one of them would find a partner in their respective cities and move on.
They were twenty and inexperienced. And they were unsure of each other.
‘Take things slowly ...” her friend suggested, - “ .. Even though he is totally into you.”
“I wish I could.” She smiled sheepishly.
She knew she was smart enough to not get hurt, but she knew that she couldn’t afford to lose him as a friend. She could practically see through everything he stood for and believed in, but when it came to matters of the heart, she was clueless.
He for once, wanted to embrace love, to experience it to its fullest, but was “she” the girl? Someone he could love more than life itself? It was a question only time could answer.
Will such numerous confusions stand the test of time? Will their mutual longing make them inseparable soul mates?
Valentine’s Day was near. May be it was an indication for either of them to take a call, be brave and confide in to the other person. To take the final leap of faith, to just let go or perhaps to hold on. Who knows what the future may hold. All they could do is try, after all we all are born of love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.
Amrita Paul
I write. I read. I eat. I sleep (a lot ). Oh yes, Chick flicks make me cry and I love dogs. Some say I am a feminist, I say- " Is it necessary to define every ounce of passion arising from an individual?" I think not. Anyway that is me :)
