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Bollywood Hulla

By Pragyananda Mishra 

1) No 1 Killed Jessica
Worthier title: Femme Pro’fan’ity
Weird quotient: The movie defined Justice in a new sense Just‘Fire’ seemed more apt with Rani’s verbal histrionics and Vidya’s relentless acts.
Memories: The scene in which an about-to-indulge-Rani halts a love maker. Quietus Interruptus J
2) Dhobi Ghaat
Worthier title: Fourplay at the not-so-Tinsel town
Weird Quotient: Looks like they have deleted some words from the saying “dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka” :) to make it a title
Memories: Not much except Aamiresque “Thinking man” posture

3) Saat Khoon Maaf
Worthier title
: Pyaarabnormal Activity
Weird quotient: It was used freely by the free press to highlight budget 2011 :(
Memories: Keemat Lal’s (Annu Kapoor) Via agra-esque appetite leading to his doom :)

4) Dum Maro Dum
Worthier title
: Cast, Sting, Dope, Rope Blues
Weird Quotient: Did Deepika’s iTem ensure a sequel ? Could have very well included Dev Anand in a scene :(
Memories: Goa- “Liqour cheap, women cheaper” promo and the bad man named Biscuta...Lol :)

5) F.A.L.T.U
Worthier title
: R.O.F.L (the title is open to the sequelJ)
Weird Quotient: It released on Apr 1, Fooly F.A.L.T.U concept :)
Memories: Google Chand’s efforts in setting up the university

6) Haunted
Worthier title
: Bhoot.Rewind.Forward
Weird Quotient: The longest rape in history- 75 years. The movie also reaffirmed faith that every ghost is modelled after horcruxes nowadays :)
Memories: The vase-blow-act :); prompting a grim rapist on the loose

7) Ready
Worthier title: Spoiler Alert
Weird quotient: Pants-are new extras, they seem to portray quite a lot of emotions-DhinkaChicka :)
Memories: The good old sms flooding with Jawaan Sheela vs Character Dheela....

8) Shaitan
Worthier Title
: None, by far the pick of 2011
Weird quotient: Hummers, Accident, Drugs, Deceit and Kal-ki actress
Memories: Epic rendition of Khoya Khoya Chand and the peppy Hawa Hawaii. Forceful performances by the entire cast.

9) Delhi Belly
Worthier title
: Heist meets love meets lust meets Boss, D.K
Weird quotient: The first movie in which an actor has been brave enough to be a ‘cunning linguist’ quitting the ‘master debater’ role :P
Memories: The orange juice wiping solution, the banana peeling via the knife at the table and lots of obsceneties :)

10) Murder2
Worthier title
: Layman and Blademaniac
Weird quotient: We expected skin, got leather. The movie was weird in a sense that he picked prostitutes and did not do the sexpected needful. Sunny Leone is next and we can expect more/less
memories: The gaping wide mouth in the promos :o

11) Singham
Worthier title
: Power.Full
Weird quotient: The movie was Ajay’s biggest hit ! Apparently Chennai Super Kings have sued the Movie’s posters
Memories: The I-got-out-of-a-moving-Scorpio-defying-(mv^2/r) act 

12) Bodyguard
worthier title
: colosSAL-MAN
Weird quotient: For a change Salman donned a formal attire for most of the movie. Wonder if Sunny Deol would have been a good choice?
memories: The so called twist in the tail, whats, whys and how the F’s are left for the audience to fathom

13) RaOne
worthier title: Quit playing games for our heart
Weird quotient: How do you expect the not so kids to enjoy this ? Even the kids complained that Arjun Rampal, the emotionless vaudeville was actually a Ra-bot :(
Memories: The only thing we are not looking forward to is a sequel named Ra.ttU

14) Rockstar
Worthier title
: Pal, Lung tod
Weird quotient: The movie revolved on the Rockstar’s proclivity to indulge in a kiss and somehow in the end we see that he has fathered. Junglee Jawan, bhak sala
memories: The songs, the million odd facebook obituaries and Ranbir claiming it was his bestest role :P  

15) Dirty picture
Worthier title
: Picture this, Dirty
Weird quotient: N.D Tiwari, the scandalous octagenarian would have been the perfect one-actor-fitting all against Vidya Baloon...oops
Memories: Blousy.Lousy.Arousy.period

16) Don 2
worthier title
: Don’T(wo)
Weird Quotient: How could Duggu be that generous? What happened to Don’s Ducati at the end(How did they move from the bridge) ? Isha, Lara who’s next...........:o
memories: The car chase, the clichés, the heist.RIP

Pragyananda Mishra
20 something-year old taciturn hobbledehoy; I try to win but a loss is always heartening. Presently bewildered and still not sure that 0% of everything is better than 100% of nothing.


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