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Ramblings Of A Lost Confused Boy

By TVS Karthik


The question at the very beginning of this article, which yours truly hopes gets printed up somewhere is,  “What can a guy who gets severely paranoid about the people in  campus having issues against him and a guy who gets ridiculously nervous around the people who he’d like to talk to dish out?’

Well first up, these aren’t two different guys. There exists only one. I hope my grammar ain’t going to get this paper rejected. Secondly, thinking about this in the SAC QT while music nerds (no offense people....) play their songs at an insanely loud volume isn’t helping. Depending on how long this article will take to get done, a message to the SAC passer-bys and friendly strangers ...you’ll probably see me sitting around with a pen in hand and a pensive look on my face. I know it probably ain’t natural for a guy to be in SAC doing nothing, but writing, when normally people come to hit the gym or play Carrom or Table Tennis or hone their already amazing skills at the music or dance rooms. If you have an issue with the way I work, “Screw u guys! And learn to be open minded” is what I’d like to say.

Granted, more often thatn not,nothing comes out of my mouth because I tend to be stubbornly quiet. My social skills have been stunted during those 2 yrs of junior college preparing for IIT, is what I like to believe. Whatever; I’m going off topic. I’ll admit, I happen to be the confused boy that I am who refuses to drink, smoke a joint, while refusing to be anti-studious while roaming in the LTC if I can help it For those of you, who are sceptical of my writing prowess, WELCOME to the club! Anyway, coming back to the point (Wow, folks, never ever use this phrase to start a sentence...I just got stuck in the state of limbo like in that movie ‘INCEPTION’.  Right now I have no proper content to write down and it doesn’t help if you are as fickle as I am with my emotions, like Archie’s love interest switches between those two girls. It’s especially bad when people don’t message you back. How lonely and cold it’s getting by 7:30. How low and pessimistic is my view that my own life’s going to sink? How often will I have a certain sense of  purpose that I refuse to change my thought process...how will yours truly break out of this parentheses ...).

At the risk of this article being coined as “the rambling thoughts of your beyond average confused lonely boy”, I shall make it a point to deliver something worth imbibing from this article in case you are reading this article out of curiosity.

A dude can have a sense of divine purpose after preparing for IIT and despite messing up big time in the exam, keep his ambitions intact.

The same dude can keep this in his heart and aims to be perfect according to his thoughts in his small world.
 
That dumb dude may even feel it paramount to be oblivious to those people around him not out of superiority but out of eventually acquired stupidity.
 
That dude, as he grows up, regrets his die-hard habits and now leads a strange dual life.
 
The dude feels his dreams are crashing down so far whenever he bothers about the people around him . And due to his afore mentioned stupidity, he stubbornly refuses to learn from his mistakes.
 
This dude now wonders how to beautifully conclude this article on a happy note for you, the reader.
 
The dude has faced mental shit that you, whomsoever it may be, may have faced or is facing as well...presently.
 
Yet that dude is always willing to help you out despite his crazy issues as long as you approach the dude.
 
Don’t fear to bother the dude....the dude fears you even more for not bothering to bother him.
 
Ha-ha. I’ve lost it...but I think that was poetic. Yes! And that’s a wrap. Now the dude is thinking of writing another article as soon as possible in case this gets scrapped because it’s too personal you know...or just plain weird.......
Oh well.  

 

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