By Pranav Sukhija
The other day I was sitting in a park with a dear friend who seemed baffled and distressed. I tried to talk to her and get her to open up. She took her time, and finally shared what was bothering her. She told me how she was so disturbed because her best friend was not treating her well from quite some time. She expressed her pain and burst into tears. I felt sorry for her and tried to assuage her. But deep down inside I wasn’t amused at all.
There was a time when people couldn’t speak to their friends regularly and conversations were carried out through letters. People used to wait earnestly to hear from their friends. With modern technology, we now have hundreds of mediums of communication, be it our mobile phones, SMSes, BBM, Whatsapp, social networking sites or instant mails, etc. Yet, we find people breaking off their friendships and relationships abruptly and sometimes even publicly, without much thought and/or any concrete reason. Is too much communication bad communication? Or is it that, what appears to us as a conversation between two friends, carried out using ill-spelled words, and of course smileys, via messages or a social networking site is terribly clichéd and banal? In the pretence of carrying out a conversation with a friend, we are expressing everything but what we truly feel. In a bid to please others, we are willing to undermine our true feelings and desires, thoughts and wishes. And whenever there is a communication gap, we let our egos take control and feign nonchalance, even when we remain troubled deep inside. I am sure all of us have faced some or most of these situations and have found ourselves getting deeply affected and distressed as a consequence. We put the blame on our friends, claiming sincerity and innocence. Often we don’t realise that the other person is as affected, if not more.
The other day I was sitting in a park with a dear friend who seemed baffled and distressed. I tried to talk to her and get her to open up. She took her time, and finally shared what was bothering her. She told me how she was so disturbed because her best friend was not treating her well from quite some time. She expressed her pain and burst into tears. I felt sorry for her and tried to assuage her. But deep down inside I wasn’t amused at all.
There was a time when people couldn’t speak to their friends regularly and conversations were carried out through letters. People used to wait earnestly to hear from their friends. With modern technology, we now have hundreds of mediums of communication, be it our mobile phones, SMSes, BBM, Whatsapp, social networking sites or instant mails, etc. Yet, we find people breaking off their friendships and relationships abruptly and sometimes even publicly, without much thought and/or any concrete reason. Is too much communication bad communication? Or is it that, what appears to us as a conversation between two friends, carried out using ill-spelled words, and of course smileys, via messages or a social networking site is terribly clichéd and banal? In the pretence of carrying out a conversation with a friend, we are expressing everything but what we truly feel. In a bid to please others, we are willing to undermine our true feelings and desires, thoughts and wishes. And whenever there is a communication gap, we let our egos take control and feign nonchalance, even when we remain troubled deep inside. I am sure all of us have faced some or most of these situations and have found ourselves getting deeply affected and distressed as a consequence. We put the blame on our friends, claiming sincerity and innocence. Often we don’t realise that the other person is as affected, if not more.
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| Photo credit - Priya Chowdhary |
My purpose of writing this article is to offer wisdom to many a tired and distressed people who are not able to maintain cordial relations with their friends, and often complain indifference and ignorance on their friends’ parts. Speak up before it’s too late. You are the best spokesperson for yourself, and what you can talk about for yourself, no one else can. Let bygones be bygones and make a move or two to fix the situation you are stuck in. Be prepared to cooperate with your friends, but never hesitate in voicing your beliefs and opinions. Do not have too many expectations from your friends. But whatever little expectations that you do have, must be expressed clearly. Do not change yourself, but learn to adapt. And finally, communicate truthfully. Because real friends care, and friends who care do not hesitate while sharing what is deep down inside their hearts.
Pranav Sukhija
Teacher of primary school children, counselor for many, perpetual thinker, voracious writer, avid (not greedy) reader, crazy dancer, joyful singer, wannabe guitarist, wannabe actor, wannabe chef, comfort food lover, nature lover, self-proclaimed photographer, ingenious explorer, Delhi boy who doesn't fulfill most of the assumed 'typical' Delhi boy qualities.
Teacher of primary school children, counselor for many, perpetual thinker, voracious writer, avid (not greedy) reader, crazy dancer, joyful singer, wannabe guitarist, wannabe actor, wannabe chef, comfort food lover, nature lover, self-proclaimed photographer, ingenious explorer, Delhi boy who doesn't fulfill most of the assumed 'typical' Delhi boy qualities.
