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That Woman Inside Of Me

Traditionally, women have been expected to be care-givers, home-makers and a source of happiness and comfort around the house. When young, they’re brought up in shades of pink, given dance lessons, taught how to sing, sew and cook. Along with it, they’re expected to study as hard as they can so that they can get to the best educational institutions in the world. By the time they’re 13, they’re supposed to bid their childhood male friends goodbye, sit properly with their legs crossed, modulate their voices, be mindful of what they think of their clothes and attitude. Get to college, and a few years of living free give you the taste of what life can also be. A few years working. But you hit 25 and you get married off. You’re expected to have kids as soon as possible, then raise them in the proper way, be the glue between families, be the trophy wife.
I only have one question.
Where did all those dreams go? Did you run out of time? Or did you just dismiss them as the innocence of youth and make friends with what came your way?
Are women ever in control of their lives? First there are parents, and then the husband comes along. It’s a show in which the puppeteer keeps changing while the puppet looks on.
I would blame it all on society. Most men only repeat what they have seen happening in their homes. Moms are expected to wash your clothes, give you food etc. etc. When her time is up, it’s your wife who does it.
If that wasn’t enough, Society frowns upon women who don’t marry.  Brands them as deficient or worse, immoral. Sees every male you go out with as a lover. Censors your thoughts, your words, and your clothes.
WHY should women conform to these traditional roles? Shouldn’t men have to be equally responsible for the welfare of children? For making the morning tea?
Yes, there is a small minority of enlightened men who don’t subjugate women to this modern form of bonded labor. But by and large, the Indian male thinks pretty much in the same way.
Why is it that women cannot go solo. That they ‘need’ men. Tell me why. If she needs a man for all the hardware work around the house, there are power-tools and other labour saving devices available in the market to help her. For having kids? Isn’t it her personal choice? She can adopt or opt for sperm banks. If she needs a man for security, then well, we live in a very sad state where a woman cannot be safe in the first place!
I’m not against companionship. Of course it’s lovely to have a witness to your life. But why live life like the hours are running out? To jump from one level to another, like a game of Icy Tower.

Who doesn’t want to live free? With no sword of “marriage by 25” looming over her head? Travel the world? Do those things you read about, or saw in the movies? After all, why did you study so much or get a job? To update your resume? To be more in demand in the marriage market?

Maybe some female readers will agree with me on what I say. Some women don’t even think this way. Some of them have got their marriages planned in their heads since they were 6.
The woman inside of me, she’s stopped asking me why I don’t listen to her. Why I don’t let go. Why I must be careful about what society thinks of me. Why I need a man by my side.
For me, rebellion would be to let go. To be the woman I really am. To not live like a shadow of who I am. To be in control of my life. To not having to bow down to the right time-frames for doing things. To simply be.

I’m sitting in the women’s coach of the metro as I type this. And the lady sitting next to me couldn’t help but read this article. She agrees with me and we had a very lively discussion on what we would do if we didn’t have to be all this :) So hopefully I’m on the right track with this.


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Let The Good Times Roll Magazine is an online youth magazine
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