By Nishant Boorla
“After a royal wedding that captured the attention the world over and broke internet viewing records, a honeymoon is next for Prince William and his new wife, Catherine Middleton, right? WRONG! Well not immediately anyway. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have opted to hold off on a honeymoon, instead choosing to have a private weekend to themselves in the United Kingdom in an unknown location - because Prince William has to return to work as a search and rescue pilot next week.”
“After a royal wedding that captured the attention the world over and broke internet viewing records, a honeymoon is next for Prince William and his new wife, Catherine Middleton, right? WRONG! Well not immediately anyway. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have opted to hold off on a honeymoon, instead choosing to have a private weekend to themselves in the United Kingdom in an unknown location - because Prince William has to return to work as a search and rescue pilot next week.”
His mission – Search and Rescue his manhood after that incredibly gay wedding!
“Defiant Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi vowed on Saturday not to quit, but said he was ready for a “ceasefire and negotiations” as NATO bombed a key government complex in Tripoli.”
Somebody tell him that’s not how it works! You don’t get to call ceasefire when you’re being attacked you moron! Did Jerry ever run up to Tom and say enough with the death-traps, I’m calling a ceasefire?!
“A blonde was invited to the beatification ceremony of the late Pope John Paul II.” She promptly packed her make-up kit!
“AIEEE question paper was leaked before the exam.” Students however, still struggling to solve the problems!
“Facebook has been declared the most popular social network in India ahead of Orkut and Twitter, with over 25 million users.”
Still no match for the Swiss Bank which has over a hundred million Indian users!
Now moving over to commerce. Brands leave no stone unturned to accommodate a superstar for their ad campaigns. They even go so far as changing their marketing slogans, even their entire marketing campaign. Here’s a list of changed ad slogans that would be required to accommodate legitimate superstars.
Accenture
Previously: Accenture. Performance.Delivered
But then they felt they need Tiger Woods back to boost business. So they signed him with a slight modification to their slogan.
New slogan: Accenture. High Performance. Delivered. With a happy ending.
Nokia
Previously: Connecting People.
But then they felt a joint deal with BSNL Cell One would attract more customers.
New Slogan: Connecting People. Sometimes.
Nike
Previously: Just Do It!
Then Nike signed 85 year old Hugh Hefner and his 25 year old fiancé.
New Slogan: Please Don’t!
M&M’s
Previously: Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
Then they decided to follow Accenture and sign Tiger Woods. For unknown reasons, they stuck to the old slogan.
Energizer Batteries
Previously: Nothing outlasts the Energizer. It keeps going and going and going.
Then they also signed Tiger Woods. You get the joke don’t you?
GEICO
Previously: So easy a caveman can do it.
Now they didn’t change their slogan, but instead decided to search for a suitable brand ambassador. They received a call from Lasith Malinga!
Apple
Previously: Think outside of the box.
They signed Paris Hilton.
New Slogan: Think. Fine, at least try.
Nishant Boorla
Sarcasm means the world to me. Yeah that's always a good place to start. I watch movies...a lot of movies! Sports nut and a die hard Manchester United fan. Highly opinionated and that shows in my articles.
Sarcasm means the world to me. Yeah that's always a good place to start. I watch movies...a lot of movies! Sports nut and a die hard Manchester United fan. Highly opinionated and that shows in my articles.
